“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…” Zechariah 4:10
Facts: Your personal insecurities can be huge stumbling blocks when it comes to pursuing your purpose dreams.
There was a time when it never occurred to me that I couldn’t do or accomplished something. I remember when I decided to move to Chicago from Kentucky after undergrad and I literally had a Budget van full of old furniture from my mother and grandmother, $300 in my pocket, and a signed lease for a small studio apartment on the South Side. Dassit. And yet, there was never really any thought that maybe I shouldn’t move, that maybe it was too big of a risk. I certainly had my share of insecurities but there was always this sense of “of course, I can do that.”
But what I’ve observed is that, after a little time, after life has shown all its colors and we’ve seen some things and felt some things, it’s really easy for us to lose the determination and persistance we had in our young adulthood. The “oh I’ll be alright” turns into “I’m probably not good enough.” We start believing the lies that have been whispered into our consciousness that we aren’t enough. Or the other lies that say we are too much, too extra. We force ourselves to settle or scale back what was clearly a divine instruction to go be great.
In the devotional, The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson (a go-to book for me), there is a passage that speaks to this and really stuck with me as I’m in a season of returning to my “of course, I can do that.” I’m learning to discern whether the voice I hear telling me to do this or that is the voice of wisdom (with age, there are other considerations we should and do make) or…ew…fear. Batterson talks about dreaming impossible dreams and how God is really unimpressed with our prayers for things that we can accomplish ourselves. The truth of that is so real, right? Like, I know we can pray about everything but I imagine sometimes God is like, “But errr umm, I gave you the ability to do that five years ago. Whatchu mean?” LOL The very act of faith requires us to ask for the things that seem impossible if we really want to see God manifest in our lives.
As I reflect on 2018, that’s really what I’ve tried to do. I asked for big things, yes. I also also asked for the the strength to accomplish those big things. I started praying impossible prayers and doing seemingly ridiculous things like circling the block where I would like to one day own property for one of my ventures. Yeah, maybe that seems crazy to some. But from what I can tell, as I look back over my year, all I can say is, it works.
Sure, some things haven’t shown up in the forms I thought it would. But about 90% of the time, what has shown up has been better than I could ever imagine. And that’s really the gist of faith. Believing for what I cannot see, and trusting God, that what shows up will be greater than I could dream. God’s dream for me/you is so much bigger. Let’s take the limits off.