About a month ago, I began writing a weekly column titled FAITH and MOTHERHOOD for what I believe is one of the best sites for mommies on the web: Denene Millner’s MyBrownBaby.com. Over the next few days, I’m going to be linking over to some of my work over there. Enjoy!
“Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.” — Matthew 14:25-26
A year or so into our marriage, my hubby and I were ready to start a family. Having crossed the 35-year-old age marker, my biological clock was ticking so loud that astronauts were probably saying, “what’s that noise?” It took a while but when we found out we were pregnant for the first time, we were SO excited. All I could think about was my baby. Who would he most look like? What should we name her? I was SO caught up. Then, out of nowhere, the unthinkable happened. We lost our baby. Already a person with depressive tendencies, I was beside myself for a while. But thank God for optimism and the “Innanet.” I’d read the books and watched the testimonies online of those who said miscarriage in the early weeks of pregnancy was common. So… we kept trying. A few months later, we found out we were pregnant again. Still excited, we were a little more cautious this time. Sidebar: Isn’t it interesting how our past experience often defines our future responses? Anyway, I didn’t necessarily dive headfirst into setting up my baby registry but I still was confident that this time, it would be okay.
At ten weeks, we lost our child.
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