Umm…Happy New Year?!
Yeah, I know I’m late.
Yes, I know it’s been a minute since I’ve posted.
But the picture above is the most wonderful excuse ever.
My baby girl.
And of course, she’s also what brings me back to my blog.
So you would think that hearing God speak wouldn’t still amaze me especially after experiencing the miracle that is birthing a child. Maybe that says something about me or the frequency of my interaction with Him. Or more likely, it’s just that the crystal clarity, the certainty that fills me, is so overwhelming that I find myself still in awe of Him.
As I’ve noted many times over the years on this blog, while God is speaking all the time and in many ways, I generally tune into His Spirit during the seemingly most mundane activities. It’s like when I put on my special clothes, set my bible at just the right angle, and try to put on my posture of meditation…I get nothing but silence. But when I’m washing dishes or—nowadays—changing diapers, fire reigns down from heaven and revelation pours from the sky.
Or something like that. LOL!
Maybe that’s the only time I’m paying attention. In fact, it usually goes something like this: I’m washing clothes. Later, I write in my journal about my day—which consisted of washing clothes. I ask some significant question about my life. God says…ask the clothes. I ask the clothes and they say, “To get the most effective results, you must make sure that we are on the right cycle and setting. What setting is your life on, Tracey?” Then BINGO! I get my answer.
Yes, I made that up. LOL! It was just an example. But what’s true is…that’s how it usually happens.
Needless to say, giving birth to my first child last August and spending the last five months with her has created situations that are ripe with revelation. The other day being no exception.
When it comes to sleeping, MaKayla is a fighter. Girlfriend will stare at the plants and pant repeatedly in order to keep herself from falling asleep. Seriously! She’ll whine and moan and kick her feet until finally sleep overtakes her and her head just falls like a rock onto my shoulder. It’s actually funny to watch because I, being her mother, know that her fighting is in vain. That her body is going to give in to the Sandman, at some point. And yet every night, like clockwork, she goes through her ritual. I patiently bounce her on my shoulder as she gyrates and squeals until I hear that soft, even breathing that is my signal to put her down in her crib.
One day I was laughing with a friend a mine about it. I kept saying, “Why does this little girl fight so hard? She knows she’s tired but yet she pushes against the inevitable.”
And of course, that’s when it happened. That little voice that only I can hear…
“Why do YOU fight so hard?”
Huh? What? **shaking my head**
“You…like your daughter…fight against the inevitable. I call you to a season of rest and you choose to worry. I call you to harvest and you are still planting. I call you to ride the seas of my provision and promise and you fight fiercely against the current of your life. You moan and whine about being tired, not realizing that you are tired because you are moaning and whining. While I appreciate your ambition, it is not ambition alone that will help you fulfill your destiny. Just as you wish your baby girl would just relax and embrace her rest, I’m asking you to do the same. The light of the SON will let you know when it is time to get back to MY business.”
So this is the head space I’m in. I certainly have a lot of work to do. I have stories to write this year and other opportunities on the horizon. But I’m trying to be aware of the seasons of these things. I’m learning to stop fighting against what God is trying to do in my life but to embrace both the work and the rest.
“Just like you with MaKayla, I am patient.” – God